I have written about gratitude previously, when I did my ten-part series on the positive emotions. Gratitude is more than saying “thanks”, it is a deep and meaningful appreciation for someone or something. It helps us to acknowledge what we have and our good experiences, and to strengthen our relationships with others. Time has an article on the various health benefits of developing your gratitude, and just a quick google search will bring up many more.
So, am I saying that being thankful for things will solve all your problems and make everything okay? No, I’m not. What fostering gratitude will do is help you develop your resilience.
Resilience is our ability to keep going when times are tough. It’s what enables us to take life’s knockbacks and keep picking ourselves up again. Developing resilience is a skill. It is affected by our optimism, our tolerance of our emotions, our ability to reframe things mentally, and our gratitude.
Many people find gratitude the easiest one of those to start with, because it gives you a solid foundation based on where you are right now. You might prefer to start elsewhere, and later blog posts will focus on other aspects of resilience.
You might be in a bad place, and asking yourself, “What have I got to be grateful for?!”. You might find it hard to think of anything, but working hard on this can pay off. Start simple when thinking about what you have. You have access to a computer to read this right now. You have air to breathe. You have time to be here.
Try turning what seems to be a negative into something to be grateful for. For example, you might be feeling overwhelmed with the amount of laundry you have to do – but you can be grateful for having so many clothes. You might be grieving for a loved one, but can feel gratitude for having known and loved that person.
Some people find it helpful to write a gratitude journal. Each day, write in your journal three different things you are grateful for. They can be big or small, silly or serious – nobody’s opinion on your gratitude journal matters but yours! You might want to keep it to yourself, or share it with a loved one. Make it work for you.
Developing your gratitude can make it easier for you to see and connect with the good things in your life when it seems that things are going badly. It can provide you with a solid foundation of resources and identity. When we are feeling low, we tend to overestimate threats and underestimate our resources. Developing our gratitude can help redress that balance.
What are you grateful for?